Heavy Metal Military Aviation Girls

Hope for the future series:  Tina S plays Yngwie J. Malmsteen…

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Tina S (14 yrs. old in this video) shows how easy it is to play Yngwie J. Malmsteen’s Arpeggios.  It really is… I mean, she is 14… could you play that well when you were 14?  Maybe not you, but I’ll tell you, I could… yeah, when I was… uh… 13!!! (In my dreams…).

"Falkland’s Most Daring Raid"

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A rather interesting documentary about a challenging mission involving a single British Cold War era Vulcan bomber tasked to bomb an Argentine runway at Port Stanley during the Falklands’ War.  This proves that all aircrew are inherently nuts.

"Competitive Foursome" by Salut Salon

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I have been gone for a while, mostly due to the World Cup, but I am back and I promise to continue to publish at least one relevant post per century, or so.  We all know this is all about Metal, but we must ponder on the origins of music that created the greatest kind of music in this Planetary System, which is of course, Metal.

Considering that the name of this tumblr page is “Heavy Metal Military Aviation Girls”, well, this video has some performers of the female type (and they are AWESOME!), and they are all playing string instruments (Google it if it does not make sense), and they are all wearing black dresses… this could only mean one thing… wait for it…  M-E-T-A-L!!!!  (No heavy metal fan will think this video is lame… believe me, most of you are young men… I was one once).

Any way, enjoy this truly amazing video with some extremely talented musicians.  They rock, and I am proud to call them… Metal.

Iron Maiden Trooper Premium British Beer by Robinson’s Brewery
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Bruce-Dickinson-APPROVED!!!!
DAAAAMMMMMNNNNN!!!!

Iron Maiden Trooper Premium British Beer by Robinson’s Brewery

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Bruce-Dickinson-APPROVED!!!!

DAAAAMMMMMNNNNN!!!!

"Spirit of the Radio" by Rush from Permanent Waves

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Let’s face it… without Rush, NATO (some call it OTAN) would simply not exist.  Canada is more important than some people think… If a daily dosage of Rush is not given to the NATO troops, their efficiency drops… F-A-C-T!!!!

Rush!  For the FREE world!  It is a necessity, like air and water…

"J. S. Bach medley" by Andres Segovia

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So here it comes, the most important statement ever in this Tumblr page… Andres Segovia was the most important guitarist to ever grace this planet.  This is a serious statement.  Andres Segovia made the classical guitar a respected instrument.  Before him, the guitar was akin to a second class citizen in the world of music.  He proved that the guitar was a serious instrument to be reckoned with by transcribing the most complex classical pieces to it.  Anything by Johan Sebastian Bach was fair game, and this video shows some of his personal transcriptions.

Eventually he worked with orchestras and some of the greatest musicians in the world, sharing the beauty that is the guitar… the likes of Heitor Villa-Lobos, who is one of the most complex classical composers of any time… in any universe.  From Brazil, of course, Villa-Lobos wrote classical pieces for the guitar that became almost synonymous with Andres Segovia.

Why?  Why is this here?  Without Segovia, there would be no true respect for the guitar, which eventually was transformed into the electric guitar, which became the center-piece of rock music, and eventually metal.

Without Andres Segovia, there would have been no Jimmy Hendrix or Yngwie J. Malmsteen… without him, the world of music would have been much different, and I can’t really think how that world would have been… for all I know, people would have developed into mutants… and no one wants that.

So enjoy this.  Because of reasons. 

"Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring - J. S. Bach" by Christopher Parkening

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Heavy Metal cannot and will not exist without guitar.  Serious heavy metal guitarists study the finer things in life, to include serious classical guitar.  Christopher Parkening is undeniably one of the greatest classical guitarists of all time.  A genius who is frequently misunderstood, he is the embodiment of a musician who is totally (and I mean totally) dedicated to his craft.

Those of us who have touched a classical guitar (meaning the nylon 6-string wooden guitar, not the steel string guitars used by loser untalented folk politically motivated self-called musicians… often played with a *gag* pick…) know that there are two major versions of this religious piece transcribed for the classical guitar… one is in the key of Sol, which is the easier one, and one in the key of Do, which is the much, much harder but truer to the original version transcription.  Of course this is the on in Do (“C”).

I can tell you that shredding is extremely hard… but playing classical guitar in a hall filled with other musicians, without any effects or distortion is much more challenging.

But I digressed…  M-E-T-A-L!!!!!!!

"Heroes of Our Time" by Dragonforce from Ultra Beatdown

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Very close to the perfect metal video:  huge empty hangar, lots of hair, lots of jumping, and lots of wind… the basic metal video must have lots of wind and flowing hair.  I don’t make the rules, it is just the way it is.

Dragonforce manages to be one of the top talented progressive heavy metal bands in this galaxy while delivering a mostly positive message…  very odd… how can their music be so positive?  They must of course be working for a race of evil aliens who are trying to take over the world.  It is the only explanation for that type of shameless display of pure talent.

So in a sense… they are EVIL!!!  Oh thank the heavens… the world makes sense again!  Carry on.  Nothing to see here.

"Time Crunch" by Jordan Rudess from Rhythm of Time

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How do you make keyboards not slow and lame?  You make it loud and fast.  Jordan Rudess makes keyboarding in heavy metal awesome!  He plays in Dream Theater, and used to play with the Dixie Dregs.

Loud. Fast. Awesome.

"CAFO" by Animals as Leaders from Animals as Leaders

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I was listening to my AWESOME Dream Theater station on Pandora Radio, then I was like: “What a hell is this?” but then I was like: “What a hell was that?”  It was Animals as Leaders.  At first I thought, maybe this is Jazz Metal… but then I though, with a stroke of Genius, maybe it is Metal Jazz… either way it blew my mind.

If John Petrucci, Yngwie J. Malmsteen, Vinnie Moore, Al Di Meola, and Jimmy Hendrix went out for dinner, they would never agree on a restaurant… but if they all got tickets for Animals as Leaders, they would all go.  It is so out there it is something that would inspire even virtuosi like the dudes I mentioned… because when you are already awesome, what do you want to hear?  More Awesome!  That is what Animals as Leaders is…  More Awesome.

Animals as Leaders rocks, and it is the brain-child of Toni Abasi, the main guitarist.  All I can say is… D-A-Y-A-M!!!!

Ommegang Special “Game of Thrones” Edition Red Ale 
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In celebration of the premiere of the 4th season, Game of Thrones “Fire and Blood” Red Ale… Damn!!!

Ommegang Special “Game of Thrones” Edition Red Ale 

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In celebration of the premiere of the 4th season, Game of Thrones “Fire and Blood” Red Ale… Damn!!!

"Stars" by Ronnie James Dio and Metal Friends from Hear N’ Aid

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When Michael Jackson’s “We are the World” video came out in the 80’s it was an effort to get musicians together to raise money for a seemingly good cause.  It was apparent that heavy metal musicians were not welcome in the effort (the closest was Journey’s Steve Perry, but please…), after all, everyone knows that these rock musicians were only interested in money, booze, drugs, girls (well, some of them), and off course, worshiping the devil.  It was proved then, a few years later, and recently that the mainstream music industry in the United States has no interest in understanding or accommodating heavy metal, even though it is undeniable that heavy metal musicians are leagues more talented than the pop, hip-hop, and country musicians that are seemingly the only acceptable form of music available… seriously, please, at least heavy metal musicians know how to play their own instruments, and write their own materials.

Since metal musicians were not good enough to join Michael Jackson and other pop stars, heavy metal master Ronnie James Dio (RIP) decided to gather his metal friends circa 1985 to raise money on their own for starving children in Africa.  The effort was known as Hear N’ Aid, and it featured a song called “Stars”.  It included vocals by several popular metal singers, as well as guitar solos by the masters of the time.  Just the fact that spoof-band Spinal Tap is present in the event seems to poke fun into how insane it is that no one from the metal community was present in the “other” project.  [Spinal Tap was conceived as a sort of Saturday Night Live actors side project; a fictional heavy metal band.]

So, to the mainstream music scene of the past, present and future, PPPPFFFTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!  Take your uninspired, untalented, low-threat, mass-produced commercial music away from here.  Enjoy this extended version of the song with all the guitar solos.  Try to identify all the people in the video who make this world a better place.

"Holy Diver" (DIO cover) by Killswitch Engage from Disarm and Descent

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I don’t know much about Killswitch Engage, but I know a lot about Ronnie James Dio. So if that band covers Dio, then they must be made of stone, and they must float like a duck, so… A WITCH!!! Burn them anyway!!!!  

(Seriously, my personal thank you for covering Dio… you are keeping him alive in my view, and that means you got a new fan.)

"White Wedding" (Billy Idol cover) by the Murderdolls from Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls

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Like Tabasco sauce, Murderdolls is often imitated, but never duplicated. Listen to this family-values-based ballad from the Murderdolls… why the heck not?

"People Hate Me" by the Murderdolls from Beyond the Valley of the Murderdolls

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Every once in a while, a band comes along that really makes a difference.  They influence… they inspire… they transcend the mere existence as musicians and elevate the art into something that is truly beyond definition. Let me know when you find them. Meanwhile listen to a song that manages to offend people that have not even been born yet.  Well done. Well done indeed.  Cheers.